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Formless Sunday
Jul. 22nd, 2012 07:57 pmI really need to get some order back into my Sundays. It's simply not good enough to not have an alarm set and not good enough to turn over and try for more sleep. I will have to be more disciplined, plan things out and be on my case.
This is the first Sunday for a few weeks where I have not had some specific activity planned and it shows. Now that I can I must make better use my time. Is that not what I have been complaining about all the time I would go down to see my mother at Saltcoats? And now that I have the time I feel at a loose end. Perhaps it's simply that I need to readjust to what I did before my father died. I've been through quite a traumatic time, I suppose, and I'm still going through it as I have the whole situation with the will and the Evil Bitch to contend with.
I faffed about this morning until I realized the reason I was faffing about was to put off having to go down to Saltcoats. I wanted to check that all was well there as it's been 3 weeks since I was last in the house. I know that there's not likely to be much requiring done but I need to keep an eye on it. (What was worrying me was the possibility that the Evil Bitch had broken in but she hadn't.)
So I eventually gave myself a severe talking to and got my arse in gear to go there. And yet, I still found myself faffing about in the city centre, looking in shops that I didn't need to look in. I eventually got into Central station just in time to see the direct train leave the station which meant I would need to go to Kilwinning and get a bus from there. And did I not then manage to miss two buses which would have taken me to Saltcoats once I arrived at Kilwinning?
I eventually got a bus. I nipped upstairs, the better to keep a wary eye out in case the Evil Irene got on the bus at any stop. If ever I bump into her she can be guaranteed to create a scene, I have no doubt. However, all was well when I got to the house. In fact, the Bizzy Lizzie plant was looking quite wonderful with many flowers on it. Pity no one's there to appreciate it, though.
I picked up mail, checked around the house to make sure it was OK, and managed to find a few more family photos. I had the TV on for background noise. It was oddly comforting to be going around the house with the sound of the Open Golf Championship coverage burbling along in the background, as if all I had to do was walk into the living room and my father would be watching it, with my mother knitting or reading, and my sister sitting with her collection of stones and soft toys. But that's a scene which will never be, ever again.
I'm back now. I'm eating some Thai green curry and wondering what to do for the rest of the evening. I must get my Sundays organised - time to fit a long Sunday run back into the training schedule, for one thing. And keep myself occupied and not self-pitying. I'm not doing too badly, but I have my moments.
This is the first Sunday for a few weeks where I have not had some specific activity planned and it shows. Now that I can I must make better use my time. Is that not what I have been complaining about all the time I would go down to see my mother at Saltcoats? And now that I have the time I feel at a loose end. Perhaps it's simply that I need to readjust to what I did before my father died. I've been through quite a traumatic time, I suppose, and I'm still going through it as I have the whole situation with the will and the Evil Bitch to contend with.
I faffed about this morning until I realized the reason I was faffing about was to put off having to go down to Saltcoats. I wanted to check that all was well there as it's been 3 weeks since I was last in the house. I know that there's not likely to be much requiring done but I need to keep an eye on it. (What was worrying me was the possibility that the Evil Bitch had broken in but she hadn't.)
So I eventually gave myself a severe talking to and got my arse in gear to go there. And yet, I still found myself faffing about in the city centre, looking in shops that I didn't need to look in. I eventually got into Central station just in time to see the direct train leave the station which meant I would need to go to Kilwinning and get a bus from there. And did I not then manage to miss two buses which would have taken me to Saltcoats once I arrived at Kilwinning?
I eventually got a bus. I nipped upstairs, the better to keep a wary eye out in case the Evil Irene got on the bus at any stop. If ever I bump into her she can be guaranteed to create a scene, I have no doubt. However, all was well when I got to the house. In fact, the Bizzy Lizzie plant was looking quite wonderful with many flowers on it. Pity no one's there to appreciate it, though.
I picked up mail, checked around the house to make sure it was OK, and managed to find a few more family photos. I had the TV on for background noise. It was oddly comforting to be going around the house with the sound of the Open Golf Championship coverage burbling along in the background, as if all I had to do was walk into the living room and my father would be watching it, with my mother knitting or reading, and my sister sitting with her collection of stones and soft toys. But that's a scene which will never be, ever again.
I'm back now. I'm eating some Thai green curry and wondering what to do for the rest of the evening. I must get my Sundays organised - time to fit a long Sunday run back into the training schedule, for one thing. And keep myself occupied and not self-pitying. I'm not doing too badly, but I have my moments.