Things To Worry About
It's only a few days to Eastercon and I ought to be looking forward to going. I am looking forward to it but I keep having all sorts of Things To Worry About that pop into my head and annoy me. I know I need the break, I will enjoy it once I'm there but my brain is determined to make me worry.
It's a bit like when you are trying to get to sleep and the weirdest things come into your head, like do birds have knees, or why can't you see the dark side of the moon, etc. I've got things that pop into my head which sit there and annoy me, things to do with the flat, or to do with the ongoing will situation. I'll see something in the house and it niggles at me, getting me all wound up. I have a plan to get the flat knocked into shape but still things niggle at me. If I am occupied at work or buried in a book I'll forget about it so it's something that can be kept under control by keeping busy.
I guess it has a lot to do with the fact that it was the Thursday before Eastercon that my mother went into hospital last year and never came out. She had a scheduled appointment with her consultant who decided she ought to go in. I wasn't able to take her to the appointment that day as I had already booked to go to Eastercon and so I was informed she had been kept in while I was on the train to London. So there's all the memories of last year on top of all the shit I have subsequently been having to deal with.
Then there's all the shenanigans of Madam upstairs and her galumphing about. She's been strangely quiet so I'm waiting on her next lot of antics. I guess I am worried about that as well.
I do need the break. I just keep finding Things To Worry About.
It's a bit like when you are trying to get to sleep and the weirdest things come into your head, like do birds have knees, or why can't you see the dark side of the moon, etc. I've got things that pop into my head which sit there and annoy me, things to do with the flat, or to do with the ongoing will situation. I'll see something in the house and it niggles at me, getting me all wound up. I have a plan to get the flat knocked into shape but still things niggle at me. If I am occupied at work or buried in a book I'll forget about it so it's something that can be kept under control by keeping busy.
I guess it has a lot to do with the fact that it was the Thursday before Eastercon that my mother went into hospital last year and never came out. She had a scheduled appointment with her consultant who decided she ought to go in. I wasn't able to take her to the appointment that day as I had already booked to go to Eastercon and so I was informed she had been kept in while I was on the train to London. So there's all the memories of last year on top of all the shit I have subsequently been having to deal with.
Then there's all the shenanigans of Madam upstairs and her galumphing about. She's been strangely quiet so I'm waiting on her next lot of antics. I guess I am worried about that as well.
I do need the break. I just keep finding Things To Worry About.