May. 5th, 2014

rhionnach: (Vulcan on the Bridge)
I went to Saltcoats today. I hired a car via City Car Club ( as that would enable me to go there and back again via Asda for some shopping and still give me time to do other stuff. It's coming up on the 2nd anniversary of my mother's death and therefore I wanted to go down to the cemetery with flowers. I also wanted to see the house once more, although I wasn't sure if this was a good idea or not.

I left Glasgow with the main aim being visiting the cemetery but I had been thinking about seeing how I would cope with seeing the former family home, especially given all the shit I have had to deal with. To recap, said shit being that a "carer" persuaded my mother to change her will, cutting me out of it, and leaving it all to said "carer" or Evil Bitch as I prefer to call her. The Evil Bitch didn't get it all her own way, money was left to 2 charities and after trying to get Legal Aid to challenge the will I claimed my rights under Scottish law. Evil Bitch got a big bill and zero else.

I was in two minds about going to the house, but I soon found myself on the way there. I parked across the road. The house looked much the same as it did, although it's now rented out apparently, after having been sold at auction. (Evil Bitch didn't get the house, although I think that was part of her plans) My plan was to walk about, go along the cycle path behind the house and take a look at the sycamore in the garden. I spent long hours as a child climbing up into this tree and sitting among its branches. It was a pirate ship, a space ship, a refuge, a place just to be.

However, the first person I saw when I got out of the car was the next door neighbour. I hadn't seen her since not long after the funeral at which the Evil Bitch had shouted at me in the street, calling me names after she had discovered I had changed the locks and didn't want her accompanying me in the funeral car. Once the Evil Bitch regained access to the house I didn't go near anymore. So I was able to tell her what had happened with me. She told me how the Evil Bitch and her son would come down to the house after 9.00 am when they thought no one would be about to see them loading their car up with stuff from the house. This stuff was supposedly going to "charity" but both of us severely doubt it and that the only charity to benefit was the Evil Bitch charity.

This was stuff that belonged to my family, to my parents, my sister, my grandparents and the Evil Bitch made off with it. If I had thought that things would go the way they did I could have loaded up my parents big suitcases and taken stuff away myself. But I was trying to be honest and thought that I ought to leave things in place until the legal stuff was sorted. I also naively thought that the Evil Bitch wasn't such an Evil Bitch that she wouldn't give me the opportunity to get personal items. So it's just as well that I did rescue as many photographs as I could find and that I did take some small things with me. But everything else has gone.

After talking to the neighbour I went along the cycle path and managed to see the sycamore and the bluebells around the base. I walked about a bit and then returned to the car, went into central Saltcoats for a wander and then went into Stevenston. I went to the charity shop the Evil Bitch had some involvement with just to see if there was anything there I would recognise. What I would do if I bumped into the Evil Bitch I wasn't sure. However, I saw nothing and there were no unfortunate incidents.

I then went on to the cemetery and eventually returned home. I'm glad I plucked up the courage to go back to the house, I'm glad I bumped into the neighbour. Now that I've got over this difficulty it means I can go back to Saltcoats again. I last walked on the beach on the day I had my last conversation with my mother, before she slipped into that liminal place between life and death. Perhaps I'll be able to walk on the beach once more.

May 2017


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